3 Steps to Become Your Child’s Best Friend

I am sure you must have heard of such a topic before. There is always a continued debate on whether parents should be their children’s best friends. Some people feel that parents should be firm and should maintain a good distance between them and the children. This, they say, is to ensure that the children respect their parents. On the other hand, some people argue that children should be as close as possible to their parents so that they may need to open up when faced with difficult choices. The question is: how can you as a parent maintain discipline while at the same time be close enough to your children so that they may be able to speak to you as much as possible?

1. Establish firm rules.

“Rules” is a rather uncomfortable word to many of us. However, having rules in the family makes the work easier for the parents and the environment safer for the children. The children should know clearly that they cannot do certain things without facing certain consequences. It is important to know that the children should not be punished out of anger as they fail to understand why they are being punished. Some may even cherish the idea that they have managed to control the parents’ feelings – this may be the foundation of many mind games. Different societies have different takes on spanking children. The reason why caning children is somewhat controversial, is that there is a tendency of turning it into abuse. To avoid this, spanking should only be used in cases of stubbornness, disobedience, and persistent dishonesty.

2. Become tenderhearted.

Running a family is not all about logic and structures; it requires emotions. The children must know that they are normal when they have feelings that may not necessarily be logical. To show this, parents must be ready to show that that they love their children unconditionally and that if the child is disobedient, it is the child’s behavior that is disliked and not the child. It is not enough to tell the children that you love them. They need to see it in your eyes, feel it in your touch and detect it in your voice. With this, they will be able to trust you and when they are not sure whether what you are telling them to do is for their good, they will give you the benefit of doubt. Again, if they happen to come across advice that contradicts what you told them before, they will know who to believe - you.

3. Admit that you are wrong when you are

Failing to admit that you are wrong when you are and you know very well that you are, is usually a sign of trying to protect your ego. Unfortunately, such instances are picked by the children and they end up knowing that you are dishonest. When the child fails to trust your words, you end up losing the trust that you need in order to guide him/her.

Admitting that you are wrong, on the other hand, ends up telling the child that you are a person like any other who can be hurt, be happy, and who can do wrong. The child will be ready to open up to you about the mistakes that he/she has made before.

As you strive to create a closer relationship with your child, you need to understand that it may take quite long before old wounds heal. If you have been having a strenuous relationship with him/her, it may take time to build the trust once again. However, it is never too late to become your child’s best friends.